Silent Battle

Hello! This one is a long one because a lot of growth happened! This week was a rollercoaster of feeling uncapable, and times that helped me come closer to Jesus Christ! God gave us the opportunity to go do service at Nyamsuren's house on Thursday! I was so excited because I started the week feeling so useless!! She fed us food, food that I've never tried, then told us to start sewing! (so grateful for the many days I spent sewing with my mom and grandma) however I've never sewed wool before… it's thick, it's dirty, it's got bugs. It was so fun at the start, she was singing traditional songs, while we sewed yards of thick wool together! The wool goes around her house as an insulation to keep the heat in during the winter! Unfortunately we didn't finish before another meeting we had to get to, so we offered to come back Friday morning! Then we walked an hour back to our apartment, got ready and went to Munktsatsrals house! Munktsatsral is one of our English students, she's the cutest little эмээ (grandma)! We got to meet her husband and he is the sweetest ever! They fed us soup and vegan bouz and then told us stories while we looked through pictures. We solved rubix cubes (yes Bowman it came in handy) and we sang and danced! I literally felt like I was in HEAVEN!! They aren't members but are the most loving people you'll ever meet! I was able to give them mini Jesus's, and their reactions were priceless!! We went back to Nyamsuren's house Friday morning, she fed us food, then we got to work! This is when the silent battle began. My fingers were already blistered from yesterday, so they hurt. And man the bugs were even worse and wouldn't leave me alone. They were all over my face. So she gave us POOP FIRE so they would go away, however you have to be in the smoke for them not to bother you. So now I smell bad, there's bugs all over my face, I can barely push the needle through the wool because my fingers hurt so bad. I was miserable, I just kept thinking to myself how awesome it would be to go home, work in the temple, literally anything besides being where I was at that moment! I kept praying that God would tell the bugs to leave me alone for 10 minutes, praying to give me strength, praying that I could get through the next 4 hours. It was a very mentally challenging day and I was feeling so inadequate!! Later, during my personal study I legit was hit in the face!! WITH THE SPIRIT!! I came across Alma 5:13 And behold, he preached the word unto your fathers, and a mighty change was also wrought in their hearts, and they humbled themselves and put their trust in the true and living God. And behold, they were faithful until the end; therefore they were saved. Mighty Change of heart. My heart had been turned inward all day, not outward! (If you haven't heard Elder Bednar's ‘Christlike Attributes’ devotional I invite you to go watch the whole thing!) He talks about turning your heart outward and being different from the world! Because the natural man in us is turned inward! I had forgotten what this is all about, I was blind sided by my inward thinking that I forgot about the spirit that I felt the day before, and the love I felt for the amazing people here! I forgot that it was about Jesus Christ, just for a couple of hours but WOW I never want to feel like that again!! That's exactly how Satan works though, he gets you in your lowest moments, he gets you to turn inward, he gets you to forget about the LOVE Jesus Christ has for you and the people around you! That's why it is so important to have a firm foundation, to write down spiritual experiences, to read the scriptures everyday, to have the Holy Ghost with you, to listen to General Conference, and to go to the temple!! I really do love being a missionary, yes some days are really hard, and so exhausting but they help me appreciate the good days, and the many miracles God puts into my life! Miracles… 🍓 Tried new Mongolian food! 🍓 Going to Nyamsuren's house 🍓 Singing and Dancing at Munktsatsrals 🍓 Got to go play volleyball with some potential investigators 🍓 scripture study 🍓 preparing food with some of the members for the relief society activity 🍓 dancing with the эмээ (grandmas) 🍓 giving away mini Jesus's 🍓 new friends at church! 🍓 Made protein balls yum! They tastes like America! 🍓 getting called strawberry by our English students! 🍓 made homemade chicken noodles soup and it was actually so yum 🍓 two birds sat on the windows seal during personal study I love my Savior Jesus Christ, and wouldn't be able to serve a mission if he wasn't by my side! I know he lives, I know he loves you! As General Conference is this weekend, I invite you to turn your questions to God through prayer! I know he hears them, and I promise that he will answer them!! Хайртай Шүү!! 💗🫶